Painful Realities

Some people say that missionaries experience heightened emotions while they are abroad. I think this was true for me when I first arrived in South Africa. However, as culture shock wore off and I settled in to a daily routine, my extreme highs and lows started to balance out a bit.

Today, however, is another story. It is a little past lunch time and I've already seen and heard things beyond my comprehension. My emotions have been rattled, to say the least. I began the morning at Living Hope's health care center, visiting patients. I usually spend my time in the males' ward (they tend to be more talkative than the females). I joined five men in the sun room (although all but two of the men were sleeping). I engaged in a very interesting conversation with a fellow that I will call "Will". He is in his mid-30s and is affected with AIDS and Tuberculosis. Although I know that the majority of the patients are HIV and AIDS stricken, I rarely have open and graphic conversations regarding their status with them (it can be a taboo and sensitive subject to some people). But this morning, my conversation with Will became quite intense, very quickly. Will had his left eye removed a few years back. He explained that the TB had spread to his eye so it had to be taken out. He informed me that TB is usually accompanied by HIV/AIDS. In fact, four out of the five guys in the sun room this morning are all infected with HIV/AIDS and TB. You would think this would startle me a bit, being so close to such a fatal disease, but it honestly had little affect on me. I see these patients as nothing else but my friends. Will went on to tell me about the day that he found out he was HIV positive. I asked him what his response was. With little emotion he said that he just accepted it (as though it was no big deal). He explained that he doesn't know how or where he contracted the virus. It could have been from any one of the several women that he slept with. He admitted that he never contacted them to share the news of his positive result (his reasoning? - why bother, it did him no good). He also admitted to having unprotected sex with other women since the knowledge of his status. Will's days are now spent in the health care center, where he has little energy to move from his bed to the sun room chair. He takes a handful of pills each day to fight off the viruses that are attacking his frail body. Although he can be engaging and personable, he has little, if any, hope for his future. This reality is shared amongst many of the patients in the center. I've been here for over 5 months. Since this time there have been many deaths. (48 patients have died in the center over the past year). HIV/AIDS is a harsh and vivid reality here.

My conversation with Will was interrupted as I was invited to join the Wednesday morning staff meeting in the health care center. The Wednesday morning meetings are a highlight of my week, as I join the staff members in sharing prayer requests, concerns over patients, issues in the center, etc. A box of tissues is usually on hand as our discussions can be quite intense. Today I joined eight other colleagues for a debriefing/sharing time. One of the workers (who I am very close to) shared that her son is struggling with drugs. She brought in an instrument that she found in her son's room. She met with a drug counselor this morning, and he confirmed the utensil is used to smoke tic (which is what we call "meth"). This mother was beside herself as she broke down and cried over her child's lifestyle. She was not alone in this painful reality. Two other mothers shared her similar struggle. Out of the eight people in attendance this morning, three were directly affected by their children using drugs. And this is a typical story. Although drugs exist in my community back home, they run rampant here in the townships of Cape Town. Drugs and alcohol hold entire communities in bondage. It is very easy for me to say that The Lord, Jesus Christ, is truly the only answer to hope and a future.

I am now preparing to go to Red Hill, a township that I volunteer in. It is very windy today, with down pouring of rain. I think about all of the people that live in shacks with wooden or tin roofs and mud and plastic flooring. :: Sigh :: Makes you reevaluate things, doesn't it...?